Thursday, October 7, 2010

Shit has got to change. It has got. to. get. better.

It has got to get better because I am starting to lose my verve, my chutzpah, my resolve.

It's scary, you guys.  It's really scary right now.

I went to a Planned Parenthood conference last weekend and I was gonna blog about that because it was a really good experience, and I was impressed with the global application, intersectionality initiatives, and applicable activism--but now, right now, all I can think about all the goddamn time are these boys, these queer kids killing themselves.

And all I can think about is that a few weeks ago, some dudes screamed at me from a car, as I was waiting to cross the street.  They shouted "WHAT IS THAT!  IS THAT A BOY?  IS THAT A GIRL?  WHAT IS THAT?"

And all I can think about is that last week somebody threw a bottle off their balcony and it shattered about a foot away from me.

And all I can think is that last weekend, my co-worker said that a certain redundant protocol we follow was "so gay."

And all I can think is that today a customer at my work (a bubble-tea shop) ordered "Taro Milk Tea, with the big balls--no homo!"

And all I can think is that again and again our government upholds laws that make our rights not quite the same as everyone else's.

And all I can think is that we shouldn't be fucking surprised that gay kids get bullied, or beat up, or ostracized.  We shouldn't be fucking surprised they're killing themselves when we live in a culture that rewards homophobia, heteronormativity.

I'm really upset.  I'm really upset all the time now, and it is making my heart hurt.
I am tired, and I am sad, and I am angry.

It's Coming Out Month.
I am coming out as Fucking Pissed.
Let's fucking do something.


  1. Fighting this shit in Manhattan Kansas sucks. I have no allies whenever I take people on about their homophobia. At the September Phelps clan counter-protest (the city is considering making it illegal to fire gays for being gay -- gasp!) a woman pulled over, smiled, and told me I was going to burn in hell. At least 10% of people here support Fred Phelps. Yeah, you read that right.

    But the point of this story is: there is another counter-protest coming up. I'll be there, and I'm inviting everyone I know in Manhattan. Most people here don't know about the recent rash of suicides. I tell them. At night I find places to write about contacting counseling services and suicide hotlines. I get yelled at/mocked a lot; I try to deal (the bf is a big help. I am training others to be A Help).

    My advice: borrow a kitten and read 'That Takes Ovaries!' if you haven't already. It will give you a Happy.

  2. I agree something needs to be done. So what are we waiting for? Let's do it. I'm in.