Alright, now, I watched the Super Bowl yesterday because I'm A Big Dyke, and also because I really love New Orleans and I've been pretty excited all season to see the Saints doing so well, and I love Drew Brees because he helps out community organizations and does all kinds of shit to help Katrina recovery, even though he is a newbie to the big easy. I also love Fujita, because he is not afraid to take stances on issues that I care about. And everyone loves Reggie Bush, because he's an excellent footballer. So that's all pretty cool, and the Saints owned, and Peyton Manning looked like an ugly baby, as usual.
Now, onto the important part: ADVERTISING! Advertising is important because it tells us Who We Are! What We Think! and, of course--What to Buy! Now. I was all revved up and Angry because I'd been reading the hype about the Tim Tebow anti-abortion commercial. I was ready to be angry. I was ready to get Up In Arms. Who does he think he is, this Tebow! You're not even playing in the game, Tebow, get offa my screen!
But, actually, I have to say I was a little disappointed with the hype. I was pretty sure when it started that it was going to be a soup ad--just some mom, looking at a picture of a kid, saying she sometimes still worries about his health--and then dopey-looking Tebow bursts in, they pal around, and then they say "hey, for our story, go to FocusOnTheFamily.com"
I mean, I'm still gonna FocusOnNotHavingAFamilyUntilI'mDamnGood&Ready.com, but overall, it wasn't pushy and they didn't advocate any legal measures outright. To be honest, I was annoyed, but not enraged. It didn't seem threatening.
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT DID SEEM THREATENING?
The unending stream of commercials about how marriage and relationships break down a guy's Will To Be Free Spirits, and how the constant nagging of wifeykidtimes makes them less Manly, day by day, and how women heap a never-ending stream of abuse on their husbands. Coining such brilliant terms as "the wife swoop" and telling guys how taking care of their kids denies them their identity, these ads are waaaay more detrimental to women than that goober Tebow.
Guess what? Guess who has a history of actual violence and abuse against them? Oh wait, it's the other goddamn gender.
It must be really fucking difficult to be a white hetero male.
To soothe your rage, please enjoy this ad,
featuring Betty Goddamn White who can do anything she wants:
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